Recalcitrant

August 14, 2013

I am a bit cranky today.  No, not just cranky.  This is a feeling much deeper than regular, run of the mill cranky.  A massive step past cranky, in fact!

I am recalcitrant!

Ah, yes, beyond normal childish pouty-lip, and hurling headlong, directly into rebellious and defiant!  I am utterly unwilling to submit to any disappointment aside from the one I was subjected to already (details below)!  Thankfully, no poor, unfortunate soul (in human form) lingered in my path long enough to endure my wrath while this mood has been abounding; I'm sure I would have become belligerent.

As I parked in the pothole laden lot of what I believe is one of the only surviving Blockbuster Video stores still on planet Earth, I vaguely recalled a pre-millennial memory from my childhood.  It was of a spiked-hair and braces sporting teen-aged employee of the seemingly prehistoric era of Blockbusters that rented out both VHS and, just before extinction, the newfangled "DVDs."  This flashback took me to a bygone era of pop-corn scented air, and walls of potential joy, just waiting to be checked out for the night.  It was the only way to bring the cinemas into one's home, and made the trek itself, an exhilarating experience!

  And now, the prolific remnants of such a pinnacle of my childhood memories was resuscitated for a fleeting moment, before being exposed as the bitter disappointment of it's current stagnant state.  I'd rather it have been beautifully mummified, as it was in my mind: extinct, but beautiful in it's timeless, untouchable, unmarred state, existing only in the museum of my memories...

NOPE.  No such luck.  Instead, like a junkie's high, my memories then were smashed to pieces in reality, as I beheld the desperate remains of the movie rental store -- unlike a junkie, I didn't want another hit, though.  I just wanted my memories to be untarnished. Can't we just enjoy internet streaming of movies, without degrading the museum-encased days of old?


Now, understand that while I wanted to explode in laughter when I watched Hubby hand over the laminated (yes, laminated) slip of paper that was his membership card to the Blockbuster, it was the same place that less than a week later would be repugnant to me.  Why the sudden shift?  From amused to affronted, what caused the change?  My perspective.  It's as simple as that.


And, that's really the way it is some days.  There are ups, and there are downs.  Like a wave, in order to have the crests, you sometimes will be dragged through the troughs, as well.  Sure, the frequency and amplitudes may vary, and sometimes the wavelengths are so long, it seems life has settled into a casual and consistent wave; but, any force exerted will change the wave, even if only your own perspective.

Is that my way of saying that in the mediocre moments of life, answer is always a big smile, and dramatic mind-over-matter shift?  Not always.  Not even often.  Sometimes, the trough is where I need to be, and the best and quickest way back to the crest, is to ride out the trough, and let it naturally deposit me back at the peak.  Even if the crest coming at me can seem like a looming disaster, I know that once it washes over me, I can rest comfortably atop.

Pardon my soliloquy.  I'll get off my soapbox now, and try to go rid myself of crankiness.  For every spoonful of ice cream that you eat, one spoonful of crankiness leaves your body.   Or, perhaps the ratio is 2:1.  Yeah, two spoonfuls ice cream to one spoonful of cranky. Excellent... Well, off I go!

 Just a spoonful of ice cream helps the crankiness go down, the crankiness go down, the crankiness go down... in the most deliiiiiightful way!